A feeling of dread

Night has already fallen. Wee orange lights, or Glaswegian panorama. Eighth floor, I can see it all. It’s raining. The heating is low. I am a bit cold. What will I do?

Is this going to be the end of my day? Wet way back home… Some music in my ears. Closed eyes and wind on my face. Eating the same, day after day. Didn’t I say I would do things I had never done? I don’t know how, I am a coward. I need someone to fill my live. To guide this lost soul that I am. Sometimes I am afraid of being alone forever.

Is this melancholia inherent to an Erasmus experience? Yes, I am an Erasmus student. I am not drinking all day. I don’t have sex with everything that moves. Somehow, I am proud of being different, but there’s a price I have to pay. I knew that, I was told that. I am here and I am still different to the rest.

<<<Song: Belle and Sebastian – Slow Graffiti>>>

Explore posts in the same categories: alcohol, Belle and Sebastian, cold, coward, different, dread, erasmus, food, Glasgow, lost soul, melancholia, music, price, pride, rain, sex, student

2 Comments on “A feeling of dread”

  1. LaGataZurda Says:

    I have spent all my life looking for something I don’t know exactly what it is. Maybe it doesn’t exist, maybe it’s just that I am destinated to be unhappy even when life seems wonderful. But everything tastes unsipid, superficial, e-pi-der-mic. Moving from one place to other one wishing to discover something new… running away far from my ghosts… and I only find more ghosts.
    I know what you feel, and I know that you know. Tell me when you’re feeling down.
    Good luck and see you somewhere soon!
    Sincere hugs

  2. intooblivion Says:

    Thanks, left-handed cat (gata zurda). See you very, soon. No matter where.

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