Archive for the ‘gay scene’ category

Silence II

21 January, 2007

I have lost my brolly, but I have earned many things this evening.

I have been to the Polo Lounge. And I have socialize with some people. I have been invited to someone’s house twice (invitations that I kindly turned down).

I don’t really know what I have learnt. But basically I have apprehended that I will have to wait for long to find / be found by the man of my life (a.k.a. Mr Right).  And I am not sad (so far). Maybe the experience today at the gay scene has enhanced my self-esteem, after feeling forgotten by the whole world in my wee room. I’ll need to sleep on it.

Probably my words have no meaning today. I will put them in order soon.

<<<No song today>>>


Can’t you see how easy it’s been for me to lose everything in just a moment?

20 January, 2007

I have to admit that I don’t know what to do now. I am trying to figure out what I can do now.

My “supposed” best friend in Glasgow has turned out to be an opportunist. We have been having problems because the person who introduced each other is jealous of us and has been sabotaging our friendship. Now, my “supposed” friend says she can’t put up with the situation and she is considering to stop the relationship with both (although I am just another victim of the situation as her). I have stopped talking to her. I cannot be her friend knowing that she will dump me at the first obstacle. I am sorry, but I will not lose my time anymore with someone like this.

Now, I have no friends in Glasgow. What can I do?

I am determined to go to more societies at uni. But, so far, I have only seen another one I like. But, should I try to go to a political one?

I certainly have to attend all kind of conferences and events at uni which may be interesting. Last time I went to was about Palestine and Israel, there seemed to be nice people, but I made no friends. Should I be more outgoing… maybe approaching audacity?

What about the gay scene? I am not sure… Last time I went it was a waste of time and I was feeling ridiculous. I am nineteen years old, I don’t think I am supposed to be alone in such a place. What guys like me do? Do they stay at home reading, watching films and all that stuff? Well, I cannot wait watching life going by. I have to act. I just don’t know which is the most effective way of enhancing my life.

Any suggestion?

<<<Song: Nena Daconte – Idiota>>>

I’ll take the beginning with no end in mind

11 December, 2006

Well, the weekend has finished. Now, I have to face my last week in Glasgow before Christmas. I want to see my friends and my family, but I don’t want to leave Glasgow.

I have been to the scene the last four days. Last Saturday I stayed the longest. I was with a (female) friend. I met no one. I turn the page.

I am having a big cup of decaf tea with some shortbread fingers. I will miss Scotland, but I will come back.

Right, let’s face it: it’s Monday.

<<<Song: Marlango-Maybe>>>

I hang my coat up in the first bar

9 December, 2006

I did it. I went to the scene: Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. My efforts to quit solitude have been futile. In eight days I will come back to Spain for Christmas. I have to face that fact. I just have to survive alone one week. But going back to Spain is challenging. I will see friends I haven’t seen in months. And I am not the same, will they notice?

I feel ridiculous. I am 19 years old and I am alone in a gay pub. Anyway, it’s better to meet people. But it’s ridiculous.

Too old. Too trendy. Doesn’t look at me. Not my type. It’s just difficult

On January I will come back to Glasgow, and I will start again. Knowing what I know. Knowing what I know is just disheartening. What can I do?

Unless a miracle occurs, these eight days are going to be simply negligible.

By the way, I went to Delmonicas and Polo Lounge.

<<<Song: Snow Patrol and Martha Wainwright – Set fire to the third bar>>>

Forget what we’re told before we get too old

6 December, 2006

Wednesday afternoon. Routine? That’s up to me.

My blog is unsuccessful. I knew it would happen. I haven’t told my friends about it. Who will read me if Technorati couldn’t care less about my blog? Well, I write this blog as a diary. So, if you find it, be grateful… you’ll be reading a secret diary. Not many people will have such a chance.

My life is changing very quickly. One day I think something, the following day I may think the contrary. My life in Glasgow is not bad at all. It could be better, of course. But I don’t regret about coming to study here. I just think I need time to meet that interesting people I am waiting for. After three months I still believe I will find interesting people. The problem is not the fact that there are no interesting people (indeed, there are a lot!), it is that I don’t know if they will want me as a friend.

I feel I haven’t got enough time to cope with this city and get the best from it. What if I find love at the end of my stay? Well, I told a friend that I would remain in Glasgow for love, and I am keeping it.

This evening I have nothing to do. Well, I could study… but that can wait. I have all Christmas to do it, as I will probably be bored in my house in Spain. I should go to a gay pub and try to meet some people. I don’t really like gay pubs because generally people in those places are quite superficial, but you can always meet someone who is worth it.

I have no one to go with, but, anyway, it’s something I have to do on my own if I really want to meet someone.

Well, we’ll see.

<<<Song: Snow Patrol – Chasing cars>>>